Strange But True

The Grocery Store

This could be any grocery store or at least parts of it that people can relate to. It’s full of rather odd characters to some but may be normal to other people.

The Dairy manager is a chain smoker of biblical proportions. Before entering the store each morning he finishes off a cigarette he just lit while getting out of his truck. He is a busy worker who is great at his job but nearly every hour he can be found standing in the front of the store smoking a cigarette. Doesn’t matter he has a pallet of dairy items sitting out on the sales floor or having the dairy cooler wide open, his nicotine fix comes first.

And Lord help the person who takes his cart out of the cooler. He will literally complain to everyone in the store about his cart being stolen. He even wrote his name on the cart so as to quickly identify it in case the overnight stock crew uses it without his permission. Which he would never give. Again friendly to all the customers but cross him and he wouldn’t give you the time of day if your life depended on it.

The stock crew is still alive. The majority of them are drug addicts who only work to earn enough money to buy drugs.  During the night they play gangster rap music over the stores PA system using a cell phone. It’s ease to know when they will go on break. While the music is playing, the phone will chime in notifying them of a text message. A minute later about three of them are heading outside to take a break as a car pulls up to talk with them. Something is exchanges between them as the car leaves and they come back in after they have a smoke.

But they too are hard workers. They spend at least eight hours working on the same isle all night. So by morning as the store opens up they are quickly walking out the door leaving a few others to finish the rest of the stocking. The remaining members of the stock crew consist of former assistant managers who got busted down for not brown-nosing enough or they didn’t fit into the company model of “doing what they are told to do even if it’s wrong”.

The Scan Analyst has just returned from maternity leave. She just gave birth to another child for this year. I’m not saying she has a lot of kids but the last time she took her family grocery shopping they had to use a school bus to get everyone to the store. She is still unmarried but dating when she has any free time. After all, her oldest kids can babysit the younger ones.  As for her job skills, let’s just say she always have plenty of tags left over at the end of the day as with no signage on a majority of the displays.

The Produce Department and the Meat Department is about the only sane area of the whole store. It’s also the ESPN center as well as the gossip corner for all manner of conversation.  If someone did something wrong or there was a sport related event, these guys would know all the details before anyone else would.

The Deli Department can be summed up with this. The Deli manager needs to shave her beard and mustache.  And don’t ever eat the food. Ever.

The Frozen department is currently run by an assortment of employees. There is one guy on it but the area is so heavily shopped that he can’t keep it full stocked up.

The cashiers are the run of the meal type. Elderly ladies, young teenager girls or teenage boys hoping to get off the registers and on with the stock crew. One cashier in particular is still having a real up and down life. He was on the stock crew and then became the dairy manager. He got so lazy at it while bragging about his girlfriend that he was demoted to cashier. His girlfriend dumped him for being as she put it, “A total loser”. He’s paying child support and dreams of making it to the big time as a musician while playing his harmonica in front of the store at night.

The receiver is great to work with. She gets along with all the vendors and store personnel. She works a second job at night at a local diner. And to hear her life stories comes with a NC17 rating. Let’s just say she use to have lots of boyfriends and she can hold her liquor. Her life story could make an interesting TV show on the white trash/playboy channel.

And Management, well they’re trying. The store manager just left the store. Gave up and went back to becoming an assistant manager at another store. But while he was the manager he nearly killed everyone else there. He would always micro-manage everyone. He goes around and writes down everything he wanted done in that department for that day, and then checks to make sure it‘s completed before they went home for the day. All the while he would stay in his office or hang out in the Produce department talking like a motivational speaker on one of those infomercials.

The assistant manager who recently came to the store feels like he is in way over his head. He has to cleanup a backroom full of grocery items that has yet to be stocks, build displays and fill up end-caps of items that was to have been built days ago. All the while finish everything on the manager’s to-do list and take care of the normal store activities.

There is a temporary assistant manager who came to the store when the manager left. He is trying as hard as he can to get out as quick as he can. Too much work and is already stressed out for the amount of work he has to do every day.

The night time manager is basically trying to date every young female cashier that he can. At the same time he is trying to do as little work as possible. He does hang out with members of the stock crew at night as he joins them from time to time for a quick break in front of the store.

This could be every grocery store someone had or is currently working in. These people are real and there are more stories about these people but not for underage kids to read.

Korean Sightseeing

So there I was minding my own business when I encountered a sight like no other. I was in a grocery store in Apex, NC on a Friday afternoon. As many people were preparing to leave for the weekend getaway, the day was going by rather peacefully. I was finishing up for the day when I noticed this Korean lady doing some grocery shopping. I knew she was Korean because of her cell phone conversation plus the fact, contrary to stereo types; Koreans have a certain aura about them that is different from other Asian people. It’s hard to explain so let’s move on with the story shall we?

As she ended her phone conversation she continued her shopping while dressed in a most beautiful dress outfit. It looked similar to a spring time dress with lots of flower designs imprinted on it and a long slit going up the side of the dress. She looked somewhere in her late 30’s, early 40’s with a slender built, average chest size with long clean shaven legs and other body parts going with her 5.5 foot height built. With her long hair going well pass the waist line and wearing two inch high heel shoes.

It seems that while she was doing her shopping she didn’t take into account the dress of hers kind of lifted itself up a bit more than she knew whenever she squatted down to look at an item. It was evident later on that she was going commando or to be more precise, no underwear. But being the gentleman that I am I continued to carry on with my job until I became involved in helping her in a small crisis she was having by now.

She had bent down to pick up a rather large item and while trying to manage it and place it into her shopping cart, her dress became trapped with the item. As she was able to get the item in her shopping cart, she also got part of her dress. She quietly called out to me for assistance. As I quickly came to her aid as she was standing naked from the waist down while her torn dress was lying under a very heavy grocery item. Lifting the item she retrieved she dress and tried to see how badly her dress was ripped.

As she asked for my advice, it became apparent that her dress was seriously ripped. I also noticed her private area very clearly from front and back as we tried to adjust her dress so she could leave the store with some dignity. Before she left she did apologize for creating a scene given that if someone had come around to the grocery isle we were on, it would look like I was sexually attacking her or that she was a nudist exhibitionist. But as luck would have it for the both of us, the store was particularly empty.

She quickly left the store with no one noticing her ripped dress being held by one hand while the other hand keep it from opening up from the side and giving everyone a view to remember. About 30 minutes later I was heading home for the day. And about an hour and ½ later after making it through the traffic I made it home. I have been to Korea many times but I will always remember this as my favorite Korean sightseeing adventure.

Free Power

While staying in Berkeley I was sharing a house with a few other people. One of the joys of living with co-workers. Life was going great as most of our time was watching, for a lack of better word, a group of hippies that grew their own clothing from their over grown yard of weeds as the smell of marijuana drifted from their rented house. The neighbors on the other side of our place were more normal. During the Summer time we would get together at our place for a cook-out while the hippie’s called us murderers for eating meat. Ah, good times.

Our normal neighbors, Max and Raquel had been renting the house from a Real Estate agency for about ten years by the time I moved into the neighborhood. They were able to get a great deal on it when they first moved in. The house had been vacant and was in need of major repairs. They made an agreement with the agency to deduct the price of repairs from the rent. Needless to say they were able to live there for a little over three years before they even began to pay any form of rent.

When they first moved into the house, the back yard was over grown with untrimmed trees and vines covering all parts of the house, rusted plumbing as with the electrical system requiring a huge upgrade. The house needed painting as with several floor boards and crack drywall in need of replacement. A huge task but this was what this couple loved to do in their spare time. Even the real estate agent was impressed with the remodeling that they returned the couples security deposit. These people made Bob Villa look like Mr. Bean.

One side of the house was left almost untouched. The trees still appeared overgrown with a few vines clinging to the house. They kept thick curtains on all the downstairs’ windows which most people did on this side of the street due to the strong sunlight during the afternoon time. But the real reason for the over growth and thick curtains was due to a more money saving effort. But over time as the remodeling had come to a finish they became bored with little to do so as they always did, they planned to find another fixer-upper to move into. In time their luck worked with them as his job required them to move to another state where they were able to find several house to choose from.

Before their departure, we had a huge party that even their real estate agent came. Due to the work they did on the house and their friendship with the Realtor they were able to get another couple that Max worked with to move into the house. And so as Max and Raquel moved on with their life, the new neighbors, Kevin and Masako became close friends with us with summer cook-outs as with outings to different places. Max and Raquel did inform the new couple in on their big secret so as the years marched on, Kevin and Masako’s family grew to include a son.

In time Kevin and his family had moved on as well. As with the hippie family, they were arrested due to an electrical short circuited causing a small fire leading the police to find the entire basement covered with marijuana plants. Another couple, Henry and Sonoko eventually moved into the house after Kevin and Masako left but they kept mostly to themselves. They were never told Max and Raquel’s big secret. Over time they began cleaning up the side of the house with the overgrowth and discovered something rather interesting.

Upon clearing the overgrowth away they found a window that over the years was not visible from inside the house. It seemed that Max had built a book case that covered the whole window area that from inside the room you would never have known a window was there. On the outside window was a place card declaring the building to be vacant. Near the newly discovered window was the power meter. And then the real entertainment began. It seems that when Max and Raquel were fixing up the house they discovered the power meter as well as the vacant place card.

They decided to try something that apparently worked pretty well. As the power company came around to check the meter, they would instinctively go to where the meter is located at. Putting thick curtains on the nearby window as well as building a book case around the window to not only block the inside lighting but sound as well. The Meter Reader would see the Vacant building sign before trying to make their way through the overgrowth to reach the meter. Naturally as it was proven, they would simply give up trying to get to the meter and would simply record the last reading from the meter. No power used so no power bill to pay.

As the Meter Reader made his rounds had discovered the newly trimmed area and successfully recorded an accurate reading from the meter. And as the couple received their first power bill were understandably shocked. I was told that it was over $100,000. Needless to say the new tenants challenge the bill and they were able to clear themselves of having to pay the total amount which was passed on to the Rental Agency. They tried to locate the former tenants with no results. Max and Raquel had already moved a few times over the years and couldn’t be found.

Kevin and Masako were contacted but seeing as they were now living in Connecticut chooses not to talk to the Realtors about it. Max and Raquel were located and threatened to appear in court and forced to pay the total amount. This led to an interesting development of sorts. When Max made a written agreement to deduct the cost of repair to the house from the rent there was a much worded clause to cover any future expenses relating to the house’s up-keep. In layman’s terms, the Realtor was stuck paying the full power bill.

So as unlikely that this will ever happen again, it’s great hearing these kinds of stories from old friends. An occasional letter from time to time eventually paints a masterpiece.

Bypassing The Border Guard

The following story is true. Nothing has been changed in any way. Unless you're the police then I know nothing, I see nothing.

I was leaving Korea and returning to California at the end of August, 1995. A friend of mine who was traveling with me couldn’t return due to the fact he was kicked out of the country twice already. He had to return to California a much different and longer way that I found out is still being used today.

My friend is originally from England. While on vacation he decided to stay in America. What he did on the advice from others was to quickly get a Social Security Card. He received his card that had printed on it ‘Not for Employment’. Didn’t really matter for with the card, he was able to get a California driver’s license. A driver’s license that is renewed through the mail as he has been doing for a very long time. Giving him ID for employment and for all intended purposes; prove of citizenship.

Seeing as he had been kicked out of the country before, his name was on a list of people not allowed to enter the country. And as we are at the Seoul airport in Korea he made changes to his flight schedule. We said our goodbyes as I returned to California and he flew to Toronto, Canada. I must point out that while at the Korean airport I carried his belongings with me as he carried the basic essentials in his backpack. And arriving at the International airport in Toronto, he took a bus ride to Niagara Falls.

From there he strolled around like a tourist and as he crossed over to the American side he simply showed the border guard his California driver’s license who then allowed my friend on through without a second thought. My friend then continued on to Greyhound bus station to where he simply traveled back to California. Picking him up at the bus station, we got something to eat as he went over his travels across country. The next day, his vacation was over as he went back to work.

After September 11th many changes have been made but the loop holes still remain the same.

Anniversary of a New Life

She walked into the room. In a tight fitting dress she showcased her new body after enduring weeks of diets and exercise, just for this one night. The dress was as if it had been painted upon her form that rivaled all imagination as she clearly could turn the heads of many men and women for that matter. Earlier she spent hours at a spa, nail salon, hair stylist even visiting a tanning facility to even out her skin tone just so as not to wear too much makeup. This was her moment to feel like the Queen of the world.

He walked by her side dressed as if he was about to meet the President of theUnited States. A pressed and clean tailored suit covered his once masculine body. A body at one time drove women to their knees for a chance in being carried off for a night of passion and romance. As his riches were to ensure that breakfast the next morning would include a view of the Eiffel Tower from their balcony window.

They were a couple commanding the room as all eyes were upon them as if they were gods. They were not out classed and definitely were entitled to a better audience than those in their presents. But never the less this was their night to rule. For after years of being together this was the one night, every year to celebrate the bonding of their relationship that no one could ever take away. A ruby anniversary.

As they stopped at a counter to converse with the attendant on duty who quickly took their order and after payment proceeded to a booth to enjoy their banquet dinner at this local fast food restaurant. A couple who first encounter each other at this very place with just enough money for a small meal on a cold night. When neither one knew what the future held for each of them but were guided to meet at this one spot.

He had lost his job to a downsizing economy with plans to move to another city to find work but not before having what could be his last meal for a while. Saving money was never his strong point and now he realized it was killing him before he could feel the death blow. She ran away from home due to one too many drunken encounters with her father who wanted to make an example of her womanly features had entered his life as a trucker dropped her off to pick up someone else more willing to please.

She sat alone drinking a cup of coffee looking terrified as if her past was hunting her down. He asked if she was OK in trying to figure her out and to hear her story. There was nothing he could do to help her but wanted to feel that someone was worse off than what he was feeling at this moment. Two hours later they were still talking as the place was closing up for the night. He was spending the night in his car at a rest area miles from there. She thought she would sleep in a park or behind a dumpster for the night in hopes of not being seen. But as they continued their talk in the parking lot something was becoming clear.

The night air was cooling down quickly as they talked through the night in the comforts of his car. Awaking in the morning holding each other’s hand in a bond they still carry to this day. With no money or place to stay they began to build a life together. Finding a job at a local grocery store they lived in his car for a while until he could rent a spare room for them to share. Eventually over time he became the store manager as she was the assistant manager at the department store next door. They saved enough money for the next stage of their life together.

They had a simple wedding with a few friends on hand but the party afterwards was attended by everyone they worked with. Within a year he was asked to work on the town board eventually holding the position of Mayor for three terms until a heart attack forced him to an early retirement. She stood by him the entire time. Encouraging him on through his terms in public office as with his recovery from surgery and returning an active life.

She handled all the money they had earned over the years to where they could retire comfortably but also she had been investing some of their money into the stock market. They had built up their world together from just a simple meal with everything they owned in the truck of a car to living in a huge house with many cars and millions of dollars. Separate they were dying but together they started to live. 

As the evening continued on for this couple celebrating their time together, many of their friends showed up with gifts and stories to tell. For it wasn't the anniversary of their wedding day that was being celebrated but rather the anniversary of the first time they met.